The undersea world

Gudiya's flavor of the month is Ariel Mermaid. She's her hero. Gudiya wants to have a flipper like her, She wants to be the mermaid and swim in, as she puts it, "the undersea world". She gets these once in a while. There was a time, she was into Barney, then it was Wiggles, then the Doodle bops, Sleeping beauty, Little Einsteins, Blue's Clues, Imagination Movers etc. etc. Now it's the mermaid! She wants to be her, red hair and all. Which brings me to an embarrassing picture she drew of her favorite idol.

It was a stick figurine, complete with a coconut bra, flippers and fins! She draws one picture of her practically EVERYDAY! In one picture she drew something that looked like a crooked square down below. Aghast, I gently asked her what it was, starting at the top, with the flower in the hair, and making my way down. She said it was the mermaid's underwear, like the one kids wear on the beach. She showed me one in a children's clothing catalogue. A two piece swim suit!!! I laughed and told her the shape of the underwear is triangle. To which she burst out laughing at her own folly. "And I drew a square, hahaha! That's pretty funny".

Phew!!

You know, being a mermaid wouldn't be such a bad idea after all, she would have more "undersea world" to explore than perhaps the land!

Will post her artwork soon.

Swingset

So we got a new swing set in the backyard. The men dropped the equipment on Saturday. They came the next day, bright and early to install it. It was drizzling. As they put it together, which they did in less than 4 hours, it started to pour. In any case, the hardy men put it up.
The kids were like little puppies.. staring out of the window to see all the activity. Eventually I put up their little chairs by the window. They had their breakfast right there. They were so excited.

What would've taken us a couple of days to put up, the men did it in just a few hours for $300 bucks. I say the money was well spent. Unfortunately, it rained that entire week. For the kids it was like putting them in front of a giant ice cream with beautiful sprinkles but not letting them touch it. I tried to take them whenever there was let up in the rain but the ground was too soggy to really have fun. I was worried about the kids slipping on the ladder to the slide and the slide, well suffice it to say, it was wet and had to be wiped down with a beach towel.

Here's hoping for the good weather.

Kindle can't say Barack Obama, so what?

What's the big deal? Why such a hoo ha about Amazon's Kindle pronouncing Barack Obama's name wrong? My Indian name has been pronounced wrong ever since I stepped into the country. Do you see me complaining?

Structured V. Unstructured program

A lot of debate ensued with a friend of mine who's a big advocate of structured program at the school. I'm a huge proponent of unstructured program at least till 5 years. The difference is in our attitude towards it. My friend thinks her way is the high way and I follow live and let live principle. So every time she visits us, she sings praises of the school her son goes to, ad nauseam. To the point that my husband AND her husband walk away. In fact her husband often tells mine that the school should hire his wife as a spokesperson for the school her son goes to.

Gudiya goes to a Montessori school. I like their program. They introduce just about everything to them, letters, numbers, reading, writing, math, geography etc. But it is all child driven. The child will pick up the work they're interested in. If the child picks up practical life, they're building concentration and order. If they pick up sensorial, they're learning concepts in math and geography. The teachers really work hard to make all the instructional materials interesting. I know Gudiya has all the concepts in her head and I am confident that she'll use them when she's ready. She does not read yet and I don't force her either. She recognizes all letters and numbers. She writes her name. She can etch out alphabets or numbers from memory but she doesn't read. And I know she'll be ready to read soon. I just have to have patience. And I'm not worried at all.

I believe the children should get a "little" bored. Before I hear outrage, let me explain what I mean. They should have time to sit around idly looking outside the window or just looking at the fan and so on. The staring at the fan thing is to relax their minds. I don't believe in sitting them in front of the TV ( although I can't imagine my life without it and my kids DO watch TV). I also don't want them to be completely lazy. I do keep them gainfully occupied by taking them outside in warm weather and playing toys, games, cards, pretend play when inside the house. For the first time in her 4 and a half years of life, she'll go to swimming class this summer and ballet class in September. The Little One is not going to school but she's able to recognize 10 alphabets already. And trust me when I say this... we didn't teach her. She learnt those from her sister. And like I said, I believe in child-driven activities. That empowers them. They feel like they're in control. We didn't know Gudiya could write letters from memory until one day she just did it. We were stunned to say the least. And she felt incredibly proud of that. I had goose bumps. .

My friend sends her child to soccer, hockey, swimming, kumaon, a very structured, catholic school ( which is very good BTW). He just turned 5 and will be in kindergarten this September. Gudiya will spend one more year at Montessori and then goes to kindergarten in Montessori itself and 1st grade in public school.

I honestly don't know if this is the right approach but I'm at peace with my decision. I also know that my kids are normal and performing all age appropriate behavior.

My friend's insistence at structured program is sometimes annoying which is why I don't understand why she's enrolled her little 3 year old in Montessori. Go figure!

Of Judging

I get judged 24x7 because I live with my in-laws. It is something I am used to. Fortunately, I'm one of those people who tend to forget what people say to me quite easily. Yeah I'm hollow in my head so the air rushes past from one ear to the other. The doesn't mean that I'm dense in the head. I have grey matter in there and I do feel. I do hurt . I may not show it but it does hurt.

On a recent trip to Disney. I felt I was being judged by one particular mother who had a 18 month old girl. I was standing at the bus stop for the bus to Magic Kingdom with Gudiya and Little One. Husband was away at the conference. The bus was very late. A bus that takes 10 mins to took almost 45 mins to come. Gudiya was a very good child and followed my instructions very, very well. The Little One had no patience after 20 mins of waiting. She wanted to run around. And because it was a bus stop I couldn't let her do that. So she threw a tantrum... a bad one. There was nothing I could do but to hold her and hug her and console her in the best way I could. Now, this lady, who had a very well behaved 18 month old sitting in the stroller, was staring at us. The expression on her face - that of anger ( as if I was torturing my children) and pity! I could feel the bile coming up my throat because I did not like the way she stared at my kids. In my defense, I didn't know what I could've done. I gave the Little One food, drink, lollipop, pacifier, change of diaper ... everything. The problem was that Little One wanted to run around and I could not let her because it was unsafe. I didn't have the stroller because we were going to rent the stroller at the park.

Finally the bus came and we went in. The Little One was quite and a very well- behaved child.

We bumped into them the next day at the hotel playground. The Little One was climbing up and down the slide. Climbing the steps, going down the slide, going up the slide the wrong way and coming down. She was having a blast and was doing it all with very little help from me. Meanwhile the lady's 18 month old would not even climb up the steps to get to the slide. Her dad went up with her and came down on the slide with the baby. It was terribly uncomfortable for them. After that, they all stood around watching my two girls going up and down and about.
Finally, the lady asked me, how old are your girls, I said 4 years and 18 months. I could see her jaw drop. Then she said," wow, the little one is pretty independent". I couldn't resist. I said,"yeah, she's very independent and a very good girl". The family watched my girls for a while. I heard the lady tell her daughter a hundred times to go and play,"see how that girl is playing, she how she's climbing" pointing a my Little One. But the girl did not budge. Clearly, her mother was not too happy about it. I could see it really bothered her (to the point of getting angry at the child) that her child wasn't independent.

At the bus stop, she looked at me with pity ... almost blaming me for my child's behavior. Now, she couldn't figure out why her child wouldn't participate. I got my vengeance. The mother wanted her child to be perfect.

I get that we all judge. I'm guilty of judging too. Honestly, I don't believe judging can be that bad a thing. It's positive reinforcement. It something like self analysis. You look at some one's behavior or appearance and you gauge if it works for you or not. You take that judgment and see if you live up to your own standards or not.

But then it gets complex when you are a hypocrite. Hypocrites judge the most. They don't look at their own shortcomings or even analyze their behavior.

Disney

The kids had fun at Walt Disney World ... at my expense. And I will scream on top of my lungs to anyone who will listen. DISNEY IS NOT FOR PARENTS WITH AN ACTIVE 18 MONTH OLD TODDLER. The kids had a good time but I spent most of my time running behind the Little One and bumping into people and strollers coming my way. Thankfully I was really good at dodge ball in school and I'm happy to say those reflexes are still sharp.

We were at WDW because husband had a conference to attend and he was being put up in one of the hotels in the park. That was the only reason I went. Did you, kind reader, really think I was brave enough to go to Disney, alone, with two kids?! But, I did go and I suffered. Actually it wasn't that bad. I just think bad experiences make for a good conversation. And I did have some fun. And had more fun watching my kids having fun!

It was Sunday when we got there. Spent the day at the hotel pool. Scouted out eateries for kids and did some legwork to find things to do around the hotel itself. We stayed at the Animal Kingdom Lodge and I have to say the place is fabooolous. They have a mini zoo on the premises. Giraffes, Bisons, Flamingos, Pelicans and many other animals and birds whose names I don't even remember now. The place had a ton of art and craft activities for kids through the day.

The test began on Monday when we went to Magic Kingdom in the morning from 9am to noon. The place the teaming with people. There were people EVERYWHERE. We went through what I would best describe as "mosh pit" to see parades. We also saw the "Dreams Come True" show. The Little One wanted to walk around in the crowd.. but Gudiya was enamoured at the dancing princesses and Mickey and gang.

Next stop carousel and then onto the Dumbo ride which Gudiya really, really wanted to do. The wait for that ride 1 hour, 45 mins. Fortunately we had one of those fast, really fast passes that helped us cut the line. We had to go through the wheelchair exit. And I could feel the daggers in my back from those parents standing in the serpentine line with children wailing and screaming as I cut the line and got on the front. But I had a fast pass guys. I could legally, morally and every-lly get in the front of the line. But I did feel terribly guilty. It could've been me, had I not gotton that fast pass.

Next stop, Ariel Mermaid in her grotto. Waited in line for 1hour--- no fast pass allowed there :-( . The kids played nearby in water fountains while I stood in line. Gudiya was speechless when she saw her, in her little coconut bra ( which is prominently pictured in Gudiya rendering of Mermaid pictures) and her flipper tail. Finally she said to the mermaid "Ariel mermaid is my favourite princess". The mermaid flipping her tail replied," you're my favourite too, starfish". The Little One could care less about the spectacle. She wanted to go outside and get wet in the fountains.

Speaking of fountains ...it was bleddy HOT! Especially considering we were freezing our buns in NJ and then we were in sunny, hot Florida.

Just this was enough to make me tired. (Note to self: need to build stamina) We went back to the hotel after lunch for a nice siesta.I was hoping for a nice nap and I was pretty sure the kids would sleep too. But as you know, The Murphy's law, they didn't sleep a wink after that. We stayed at the hotel for the afternoon and went down to the pool in the evening. After husband came home, we went to Disney's Hollywood Studios that was open late that night just for Disney resort guests.

That visit was the most fulfilling because it was cooler and less crowded place. We went to Mickey's clubhouse party where we saw all the characters, Mickey, Minnie, Daisy, Goofy, Pluto, Jo Jo, "The Little Einstimes" - as the LIttle One calls them. Gudiya met and danced with everyone. We also watched a Little Mermaid show that had the most amazing puppets. It was a live show with the Mermaid, Prince and some other characters. But all the fishes were puppets. They even had mist, bubbles in the auditorium. It felt like we were under the sea.

Next day, I went down to the hotel playground and watched animals and birds. And when the Little One slept, Gudiya went for a dip in the pool. I sat on the poolside chairs, fully clothed, with jeans and all and ordered a drink. Gudiya made her first ever wish to God. As she was playing in the pool, she ran up to me and said," I asked bagvan, please teach me swimming". I made a mental note to send her swimming this summer!

The visit to the park that afternoon was all right. As usual, I ran behind the Little One, taking Gudiya everywhere I went. I have to say, Gudiya was immensely patient. She didn't complain when she ended up chasing Little One with me everywhere. Once daddy came to the park that evening, she was able to really enjoy the park. We saw the parade at night. It did not go well with The Little One. She cried through the whole thing because it was dark and loud. I walked around the park with her but there was no escaping. The parade apparently went all around the park.

We left WDW with the promise that we'll come back when the kids are a bit older. I was glad to go home. The kids behaved really well on the plane. I've learnt that lollipops on the plane really works well with my kids. It helps with the ears and strangely calms them down enough to sleep. Both slept through the 3 hour plane ride. I made a mental note to go back to Disney when the Little One is 5!

Who do you trust?

I have to say, I worry about my kids all the time. Sandra Cantu's story really bothers me in more ways than one. The alleged murderer was Sandra's friend's mother. The 8- year-old girl was allegedly raped, killed, put in a suitcase and dumped into a pond. I have trouble sleeping if this is the last thing I think about. And every time I think about it at night, I distract myself by constantly chanting the the Lord's name -- as if it will all vanish!

Who do you trust? Really no one. I have trouble leaving kids out of my sight. I don't leave them except for the 3 days I work. Which is when Gudiya goes to the school and Little One stays at home with her nanny and her grandma. The nanny brings Gudiya back from school at 3:30p. After that, they're in our sights practically at all times. If we go out to play, I'm standing on the sidelines pretending to be aloof lest they get conscious ... even if it is just our backyard. We never send them over to their friends place... their friends come home.

I know I have to let them go in this rotten world when they grow up. And I can't bear to do that. I don't know the reason. Maybe because I'm in the news business, such stories affect me more than others.